Martha Stewart's Dungeon

MARTHA STEWART’S DUNGEON
By: Laurie

Hello. I’m Martha Stewart. As you must know, the BDSM world is not just for leather afficionados. And as you also know, the holidays are just around the corner. It’s the perfect time to show your devotion to your Masters and Mistresses or to reward your cherished subs and slaves. On today’s show I will show you some of my favorite handmade tools and toys. Let’s step into my dungeon.
There’s no reason for a dungeon to be dark and dank. As you can see my dungeon is nice and cozy, decorated with simple country charm. The spanking bench’s hand-made quilted cover easily comes off and can be machine washed. These quilted shackles are completely washable as well– I used a pair of old socks and some quilting material to make them. And they are so comfortable... as my slave Josh could tell you if he wasn’t wearing a matching sensory deprivation hood lined with soft lambs’ wool imported from Tibet. I made the St Andrew’s cross from two planks from an old barn I had torn down to make room for my new Everything Martha store. The shingles from that same barn created this lovely set of paddling gloves. The wood shingles are carefully sanded and painted in country blue and dusty rose before being set in a faux fur surrounding. I’ve used faux mink, fox, and rabbit for these ones.
I will show you a few of my favorite handmade toys before introducing a very special guest. I bought a standard flogger and decoupaged the handle. It’s far more attractive and less intimidating to a new sub. Of course the simplest project is the homemade candles that illuminate my dungeon. Watch any episode of my show and you’ll see how I make all of my candles. Or buy my book, Candle Making with Martha. Autographed editions are available at Everything Martha.
Now I want to introduce you to Arnie Mickelmeyer, my personal Paddle maker. Arnie, I just love the personal touch you add to all of your hand-made wooden paddles. What are you going to show us today?
Well Martha, as you know, a lot of Doms out there would like to leave their mark on their pet, but they don’t want to mess with tattoos or brands. Here’s my solution: monogrammed paddles. With every slap of this paddle the bottom will know whom he or she belongs to. If you really want to impress that special someone, take your jigsaw and after carefully blocking out the letters on the paddle, carefully saw the letters out and you have a personalized paddle. Here’s one I just finished.
Why it says Martha! How thoughtful!
Merry Christmas Homemaking Goddess.
Well, while I see how well my new paddle works, we’ll take a commercial break. Bend over Arnie!
While we’re on the subject of paddles, I thought I would show you a great way to protect these erotic discipline tools. Paddle covers can add a touch of vanilla to an otherwise spicy relationship. They’re easy to make, just a thin sheet of fiberfill sewn between two pieces of muslin fabric. I prefer a floral print. A great addition is to sew buttons or beads on to the cover; or to add metal pellets before you sew up the paddle cover, sort of like filling a bean bag. Either way, your bottom won’t soon forget the TLC you’ve shown by creating these protective covers for your favorite toys, that is, if you want to keep the cover on while you use the paddle! A variation is to create smaller covers for your riding crops.
The holidays mean it’s time for another Christmas play party. Before my guests arrive, take a look at what I’ve done. The tables are decked with lovely human centerpieces that also act as hors d'oeuvres holders. My favorite is the slave skewered with the sausage and cheese bites. Those trees aren’t really trees, but subs! They are just beautiful wrapped in green saran wrap, garland, fresh cut evergreen boughs, and lights–and I sewed the ornaments on them myself! Do make sure you take the necessary precautions before you skillfully sew tinsel and ornaments on to anyone. It would be awful if one of your cherished slaves got lead poisoning from some cheap ornaments made in China. That’s why I also suggest that you don’t buy ornaments that don’t have the Martha seal of approval...available via my catalogue, my Everything Martha store, or at your local K-Mart. The plastic wrap should be high quality; colored shrink wrap is extremely hard to find in holiday colors, which is why I have opted for the common kitchen alternative. You will also want to make sure the Christmas tree subs are secured upright...there’s nothing worse than a sub who enters subspace while wrapped and causes a commotion when they fall over.
Come with me to see what I’ve done outside . Please keep in mind that this is faux snow...a combination of white Christmas tree flocking and shiny cellophane snow. I would never have my slaves and switches out here dressed up like Santa and his reindeer for hours on end in real snow! Really, I don’t know why Santa doesn’t wear leather chaps and a motorcycle jacket more often! Santa, don’t whip Vixen too much; she needs to stay standing til my party is over! Blitzen, your tail is slipping out! I want to hear your bells...Santa whip them all soundly! Much better! Ah I see my guests are arriving. I hope to see you next week when I show you how to build your own designer cages and show you what you can do with all that leftover holiday fruitcake! For now, I’m Mistress Martha Stewart. Goodbye.